Two Girls, One Night: Listening to a Teen Mom in Bohol

Author: Lam Hau Laam, Veness

Declaration: I have obtained Gemma’s informed consent to share and publish this story.

At 17, the bravest decision I made was to quit my tutorial class because I believed I could handle my exams on my own. A thousand miles away from Hong Kong, in a small village in Bohol, Gemma made a much more courageous choice at the same age: she decided to give birth and become a teen mother.

On my first night in Bohol, I was welcomed by three warm faces at the doorway: Nida, the mistress of the house; Gemma, a young woman who looked about my age; and Asher, the little boy nestled in her arms. Before I could even assume they were siblings, Nida told me plainly that her daughter Gemma had been pregnant at 17.

During my first week with the family, I kept wondering how much this young woman had gone through as a teen mother. One day, I finally gathered the courage to ask if she would let me interview her about her journey. With two phones open on Google Translate between us, two 20-year-old girls sat together and talked softly into the night.

It was a vacation to Manila during her summer break that shaped Gemma’s entire life. There, a friend introduced her to the man who would become Asher’s father. Gemma only discovered her pregnancy when the fetus was already four months old, because she had almost no symptoms. When we spoke, her son Asher was almost three years old, and had just been enrolled in preschool the day before our interview.

Asher’s first day of preschool

Growing up overnight

When Gemma found out she was pregnant, she felt overwhelmed by stress, sadness, and frustration, but not joy, because she believed she was too young to become a mother. Her mother, Nida, hit her out of disappointment when she learned about the pregnancy. In stark contrast to this intense response at home, Asher’s father denied any responsibility and behaved as if nothing had happened when they met again. He has not contributed a single peso to their living expenses, leaving Gemma and her son entirely dependent on her parents’ support.

Teen pregnancy often disrupts education, and the Philippines has struggled with high adolescent birth rates, contributing to school dropouts. For Gemma, the early months after discovering her pregnancy were marked by nausea, constant overthinking, and difficulty focusing on schoolwork. She considered dropping out because she felt deeply embarrassed, particularly under the gaze of classmates.

Yet her mother insisted that Gemma would continue her studies. To hide her pregnancy, Gemma wore a jacket to cover her stomach and believed her teachers and classmates never noticed. The village, however, found out quickly—as she put it, people talked, she felt judged, but she “had no choice but to keep going.”

Gemma is now studying computer-related subjects, and her pregnancy did not stop her from pursuing further education, largely because her parents continue to pay her tuition and help care for Asher.

Faith vs abortion

Catholic symbols and chapels are everywhere in Bohol

Religion plays a powerful role in Filipino attitudes toward sex, contraception, and abortion, especially in predominantly Catholic regions like Bohol. Gemma admitted that when she first learned of her pregnancy, abortion was seriously considered. She tried a “bitter leaf” recommended by a neighbor, believing it might induce abortion. Later, at the hospital where she would eventually give birth, she was told abortion was not possible because the fetus was already formed and termination at that stage could cause severe bleeding and even risk her life.

The “bitter leaf” (Vernonia amygda

lina)

The turning point came from Gemma’s father’s religious conviction. He insisted that abortion would be a sin against God and urged them to accept the pregnancy because “it was already there.” In her village, Gemma feels that views on abortion are “50/50”: some people support it for very young girls who feel unready, while others oppose it and welcome every child as a blessing from God.

Sex education and the law

While sex education has long been a compulsory part of schooling in Hong Kong, Gemma was never taught about birth control or sex at any point in her education. When I showed her some of the learning materials used in Hong Kong, she simply replied that topics like these are considered taboo in her community.

Under the Responsible Parenthood and Reproductive Health Act of 2012, individuals under 18 cannot access most contraceptives, including condoms, without parental consent. As a result, when Gemma became sexually active as early as 16, she could only obtain condoms by asking older friends to buy them on her behalf. Her situation illustrates a structural irony: young people are discouraged from accessing birth control, but heavily stigmatized when pregnancy occurs.

Gemma’s story unfolds against a wider backdrop in which the Philippines has the second-highest teenage pregnancy rate in Southeast Asia, with over 500 girls aged 15 to 19 becoming mothers each day. Nearly 3 in 10 births in the country are reported as either unwanted or mistimed, and the Philippines is the only country in the Asia-Pacific region that has not reduced its teenage pregnancy rate in the past 20 years.

A long way to go

Gemma’s experience of motherhood is a blend of exhaustion and gratitude. In the beginning, she was constantly tired from juggling school and childcare, until her mother stepped in as a crucial caregiver. Over time, Gemma has tried to lean less on her and is slowly learning to parent more independently.

Even with the difficulties, Gemma still finds bright spots in being a young mother. She cherishes the idea that she and Asher will grow up together and imagines that, once the toughest early years have passed, their relationship might feel almost like that of siblings. When asked about her best moment with him, she didn’t pick a single memory. Instead, she simply said, “Every day. Every night.”

Our selfie with Asher

Asher taking a picture of his mother with my camera

Gemma speaks about the future with a mix of uncertainty and determination. She admits she is not yet confident about balancing work and caring for Asher after graduation, but her hopes for him are clear: she wants to see him grow up, and one day help support the family.

Her plans for herself circle back to the people who stood by her. She dreams of becoming successful enough to meet all of Asher’s needs and to give back to her mom and dad for carrying her through the most difficult years.

For me, as another young woman only a few years older than she was when her life changed, listening to Gemma was both grounding and humbling. Her story is not simply one of teen pregnancy, but of a young woman learning, slowly and imperfectly, how to turn regret and pressure into care, responsibility, and hope.

References

Bitter leaf (New). Infonet Biovision. https://infonet-biovision.org/crops-fruits-vegetables/bitter-leaf-new

Conde, C. H. (2023). Fueling the Philippines’ HIV epidemic. In Human Rights Watch. https://www.hrw.org/report/2016/12/08/fueling-philippines-hiv-epidemic/government-barriers-condom-use-men-who-have-sex

Salama, O. (2025, June 17). The current teenage pregnancy crisis in the Philippines. Humanium. https://www.humanium.org/en/the-current-teenage-pregnancy-crisis-in-the-philippines/