A Different Kind of Wealth

Author: Pulak Bansal

We’re all so different, but at the end of the day, we look at the same moon. It’s really astonishing to see how we all want the same things, a balanced life we can feel satisfied with, but in such different ways and with such different starting points. This really led me to question what truly brings purpose to an individual's life. What is the definition of happiness? 

This experience has changed me more than I expected, and it’s all because of three things: my neighbour, the view of the tricycle rides along the Tubod Mar highway to the market, and the moon. 

I formed a really close connection with Judelyn, my host family’s neighbour, who also happens to be their niece, and it all began because she had four dogs whom I loved to play with since I never had any pets of my own. I visited her almost every day just to talk, and to play with her dogs, and understanding her perspective profoundly shifted what I desire from life and how I perceive what I already have.

She once asked me how many countries I had been to, and I named China, India, Singapore, Japan, and now the Philippines in a disappointed tone because I felt that wasn’t enough. She, however, looked so fascinated, making me realize I should be really grateful for at the very least having the opportunity to visit these countries at all. The relativity to which we viewed our circumstances varied so extensively that it really grounded us in a way which made us more appreciative of the things we had, bridging the gap between how different we were on an external basis.

Even though Judelyn had so little, with her house being unfinished, her husband often being absent as a seafarer, and her barely having enough money to feed herself and her dogs, she herself never appeared incomplete. She told me that she is anaemic, so it’s very difficult for her to have children, but as she shared this, she had a smile on her face. Obviously, looking at her, I could see the sadness in her eyes, but despite that, I got the feeling that she accepted this in a very graceful, optimistic, and accepting manner, with no anger or hatred towards the world. Perhaps this could be the teaching of her religion; catholicism, it could be a result of the general warmth of the Filipino society, or a combination of both, I can’t be sure. She told me that before her marriage, her husband said, “If we have children, OK, if we don’t have children, it’s OK, we will grow old together.” This sense of companionship, discipline, and motivation to make the best out of their situation is something I have never seen before. You would think that such sadness would consume you entirely to the point where the concept of happiness would be nothing but merely a distant dream. In other places, couples, even in close proximity, lack this degree of affection, respect, and compassion. This situation embodies the principle of wanting what the opposing party has without realizing that you yourself have a diamond in your own hands. I believe that such strength and perseverance, while I’m sure exists in multitudes of other places, is the strongest here in her heart. It really shows how even with all this materialistic wealth or experiences, the love and just pure joy you feel here is incomparable, making you reconsider your priorities and definition of a fulfilling life. At the end of the day, the people around us and the morals we live by are what stay closest to our hearts in times of both good and bad. 

This very ideology also stemmed from my growing connection with nature here, because in the same way they looked up to all the material, expensive things we students had, I looked up to the beautiful greenery, mountains, and sea they’re surrounded by. It moved me by more than just its beauty, but also by its simplicity. The nature here encapsulates the simplicity of the local lifestyle, where the slow and calm ambience completely juxtaposes the fast and seemingly directionless pace of Hong Kong. The comfort and tranquillity you feel in the moment of looking at the sea on the way to the market from Tubod Mar makes you forget about all the superficial priorities in modern society.

Not just in terms of material things, but also our mindset, such as having to worry about our financial conditions, our future career, or others’ opinions. Instead, your mind just goes completely blank, and you feel blissful because you’re surrounded by so much beauty both internally and externally that it's practically impossible to feel sorrow, to worry about anything else, or to feel like there could possibly be anything more important or valuable in life other than this very feeling.

One evening after dinner with my host family, we were riding on a motorcycle and all I could

look at was the moon. Despite the conversation around me, all I heard was silence. At this point in the programme, I was feeling quite homesick, missing my parents, friends, and life at home. Throughout the ride, a thought popped up in my mind, and it was that my mom, who is living so far away from me in Shanghai, is looking at the very same moon that I’m looking at right now, the same moon that my grandparents in India, my host family, and my friends all around the world are looking at. 

Although we’re all living such different lives at such different stages in life, living in such different places, we’re all still connected. Ultimately, we’re all the same; we desire the same things, we look at the same moon before going to sleep, and see the same sun that rises. We share the same desire for a proper balance in a life that we feel most fulfilled by, we like what we have, but we want what the other has more. This opened my eyes to the beauty in all of the different lives everyone lives.

Obviously, the living conditions here such as the toilet without the flush, no air conditioning, or showering from a bucket is not something I enjoy or am used to, but the balance between the life I have at home and the peacefulness of the environment here centers you as a person and manages to make you feel at home in a completely different way. Coming into this I thought it would be devastating to see these people in such a state of poverty, but after living here, I from the bottom of my heart don’t believe they feel miserable, but instead satisfied and content with what they’ve been given and how they live. Obviously I am not proposing this in a material sense, but in an emotional sense where they seem so fulfilled, loved, and taken care of by each other. The external and internal states we’re in are on practically opposite ends of the spectrum, but both our end goals are right in the center, and so in the end, doesn’t that make us the same?